the egg is now in a nest made of shitty swords and soft puppet ass

I just made the peanut butter pie for tomorrow’s Christmas Eve festivities at Aunt Boss’s house; tomorrow I’ll make the one for Christmas proper.

It’s very easy. An idiot could make it.

You need:

• 1 package Neufchatel cream cheese
• 1 tub Cool Whip (I used the fat-free kind and nobody will ever know)
• about 1 cup creamy peanut butter (I used the Smart Balance Omega-3 kind and nobody will ever know; you could probably use crunchy but I don’t know how a hand mixer would react to that, I just have visions of machine-gun peanut chunk fire all over the kitchen)
• About 1/4 – 1/2 cup powdered sugar to stiffen it up and make it nice and sweet
• 1 graham cracker crust (homemade or prefab)
• 1/2 bag chocolate chips, melted
• 1/2 bag peanut butter chips

Leave the cream cheese out on the counter until it’s room temperature and soft. Throw the cream cheese, Cool Whip, and peanut butter into a bowl. Beat until smooth. You can do this by hand but even with properly softened cream cheese it will kill your arms; you really want mechanical assistance. And I don’t recommend stick blenders for this, either–I tried it once and it was almost worse than doing it by hand. Use a hand or stand mixer or a food processor.

When it’s all nice and smooth, add some powdered sugar. Beat that in really well and taste. If it’s not sweet enough, add a little more sugar. When it tastes good, spread it out in a graham  cracker crust.

Melt the chocolate chips and pour on top; try to cover cover the whole top of the pie if you can. Then sprinkle on peanut butter chips.

Put it in the fridge to chill–a couple of hours should do it, leave it overnight if you can.

Also I read my new TV’s instructions and figured out how to make it pick up UHF channels. Also the DTV channels. Hot damn, DTV looks good. Is it can be February 17 nao plees?

Originally published at Fire of Unknown Origin. You can comment here or there.