the egg is now in a nest made of shitty swords and soft puppet ass

I did sort of forget to mention that UPS did in fact bring me my sweet new racin’ bike right on schedule. I got it put together with a minimum of swearing (“our bikes come 90% assembled” my entire ass) but haven’t actually ridden it outside yet, as it still needs some minor adjustments and a couple of test laps around a parking lot or something before I even think about taking it out on the road.

Also, as the hour of riding it on the trainer the other day tells me, a new saddle.  PADDING, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU USE IT? Ouch.

Yeah, I will gladly sacrifice a few ounces and a few seconds on my bike time for the sake of, y’know, not having a sore ass for the rest of the fucking day. This thing is ridiculous, I’m telling you. Apparently they are designed for people who have NO ASSES. …well, and pads in their shorts, that too.

I’d like to get some better pedals someday as well, and the front derailleur and I are going to have to have a nice long talk because it likes to skip the chain right off the big ring (I’m not thrilled with the fact that the chainring has no little rail or guard or other such mechanism in place to stop that, as has been the case on pretty much every other bike I have ever owned that had more than one gear, and that’s another wishlist item, but for now I’m just going to try adjusting things)

There’s also that thing where for about the last fifteen years I’ve ridden nothing but big heavy mountain bikes and big heavy cruisers and this little light thing with its little skinny tires is going to take some getting used to. I CAN PICK THIS BIKE UP WITH ONE HAND. OVER MY HEAD. EASILY. It’s like the difference between a B-52 and a balsa model of same.  No aero bars to get used to, at least, and that was by choice. I do not like them. They scare me.

Originally published at Fire of Unknown Origin. You can comment here or there.