chaobell | boingy boingy boingy

So since the place came highly recommended and I had extra money last week, I ordered one of these.

If you’re thinking my God, that is the ugliest bra I have ever seen in my entire life, you are not alone because that’s pretty much what I said. But as I said, if it worked half as well as it claimed to, it would be totally worth it.

It arrived today. This bitch has, I shit you not, eleven industrial-strength hooks down the front of it. This bra does not fuck around. And yes, it still looks like it could stop a bullet and needs “SWAT” stenciled across the front of it in person.

It does not completely eliminate bounce. Although it does hold it down to about a 2.5 on the Richter scale, which is, if not what I’d hoped for, acceptable. And, well, I ordered a large and probably could have gotten a medium instead and will get a medium next time (because there is going to be a next time, despite the not-quite-total elimination of bounce it is still light years ahead of anything I can get around here and oh yes, I will buy more of them), but I am somewhere between a 36 and a 38 right now and would rather err on the side of still bouncing a little but at least being able to, y’know, fucking breathe.

Anyway, it works well enough that I can run in it. And so I did. My non-running ass started Couch to 5K today, with a little audio hand-holding from Podrunner. I love Podrunner anyway just to listen to during my normal walks or living room step sessions or whatever (or um while sitting on my ass but anyway), but the Intervals mixes are made just for C25K and so on.

I still run like an idiot. I dreaded the last two “lol k run tiems nao” chimes. But I ran all the times one is supposed to run, I did not cheat and start running late or stop running early or use the unleashed chihuahua in the silly green T-shirt wandering into my path as an excuse to stop (although I was tempted to pause to hip-check the kid on the Razor scooter off the track, WHAT PART OF “NO SKATES SKATEBOARDS BICYCLES OR SCOOTERS” DO YOU LITTLE SHITS NOT UNDERSTAND but anyway), and I made it the whole half hour and did not die. So, hey.

Originally published at Fire of Unknown Origin. You can comment here or there.